


Species of Least Concern

by PickledDeath



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 07:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2142873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PickledDeath/pseuds/PickledDeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John confronts Davesprite over his breakup with Jade. Revelations are made. Romances are formed. Crows are cool. The end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Species of Least Concern

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VergofTowels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VergofTowels/gifts).



> **Original Prompt:** I'm a fan of freaky biology in my pairings, so anything focusing on how Davesprite has unexpected birdly impulses (nest-building, cawing around dawn, kleptomania, etc.) or how he now has a cloaca (if that floats your boat) and how he and John deal with that would be cool, especially if you can incorporate moody John while still keeping it romantic. I don't mind if they fight, is what I'm saying. I would enjoy that, as long as they don't break it off.
> 
>  **P.S.** Originally written in November of 2012, so this is a pretty old piece. Also, loosely based around the events preceding this page: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6 &p=007203

John had been stuck on a stupid fucking alien ship for almost three years. He had obtained almost perfect mastery of his wind abilities, he had bummed around dream bubbles with dead ex-girlfriends, and he could tell that the game and everything in it were going to come to a head shortly. He could feel that the game he had been playing for the better part of his adolescence was about to come crashing down around his ears for better or worse.

He knew he should be focused on preparing himself for whatever was going to come. He knew he should have been making amends and getting his affairs in order. He should not have been stomping down long empty corridors looking for a long obsolete feathery asshole who had to go and tear his teenage stability all to shreds.

Should have, could have, would have. Or, so the saying goes.

Davesprite was an asshole as far as John was concerned. And, even after the adventure he had experienced while in the dream bubbles with Jack Noir and Vriska, Davesprite is the first thing that comes to mind when John wakes up.

‘Who does he think he is?!’ John thought with venom. Breaking up with Jade when she was the best thing that could have happened to him! Hell, Jade should have broke up with him! Who wants to go out with a guy with a ghost butt? On top of that, he had to peg John with that ridiculous note. And, on the anniversary of his father’s death. Of which Davesprite was very aware! John had only been talking about it for weeks.

John couldn’t believe the nerve of the guy! He was hell bent on making sure Davesprite knew it. That John could not believe the nerve he had. And, that John greatly disapproved of his nerve in general.

John climbed up to the deck of the ship and looked up at one of the stupid masts that had become Davesprite’s home. John found it exceedingly dumb that the ship had these big pillars that looked suspiciously like masts. John was pretty sure that he had read somewhere that spaceships do not need anything of the kind. Giant fighting mecha robots do not need legs and spaceships definitely did not need decks and masts. John distinctly remembered that wherever he had read that was very reliable.

John could easily see the soft orange glow of Davesprite from where he stood on the deck. When John, Jade, Davesprite and the various inhabitants they had brought with them first started living on the ship, Davesprite had built a crow’s nest of a kind at the top of one of the highest spires. He probably thought it was doubly ironic (that he was part crow living in what was basically a crow’s nest in both the literal and figurative sense). He spent a lot of his time there, often with Jade cuddled up in his gross ghost tentacle. John regarded this memory with a heart felt ‘Yuck’.

With nary a thought, John dispersed himself into wind and gusted up the pole to the cozy nest above. The nest was piled high with soft blankets, thick books, and a bunch of obtuse technology that John could only assume was lifted from inside the ship. John could not begin to imagine what any of it did. But, John resolutely reminded himself that he was not there to find out what Davesprite was bumbling around with up in his nest. John was there to tear Davesprite a new asshole.

Davesprite was floating in the far corner of the lofty nest and, upon seeing John, regarded him with a smug smile and a nod of his head.

“Yo, dude. How’d the movie night go?” he asked.

“How’d it go?! I can’t even believe the nerve! How can you ask that?” John shouted back at him.

Davesprite raised a perfectly sculpted pale orange eyebrow. John blustered ineffectively.

“You broke up with Jade!” John exploded after a moment.

“Yep,” Davesprite replied.

“Yep? Yep! Is that all you can say? You break my best friend’s heart. You take away my rock, the fucking institution of this whole ass backwards trip! And, all you can say is ‘Yep’?”

Davesprite regarded John for a long moment before replying.

“What do you want me to say, John?”

“Well!” John fumbled for an agonizing moment. What did John expect him to say, indeed? John supposed he expected him to talk badly about Jade and all the reasons he had decided to break up with her. But, upon examining that, John knew Davesprite would never say anything unkind about Jade. Neither Daves (neither the real or the sprite) ever had a mean word to say about Jade. She was always regarded without reprimand by all the iterations of Dave that John had ever known.

“I expect you to explain why you broke up with her!” John responded hotly. He was not sure that was really what he was expecting to ask, but it was as good as anything. “Jade was the best thing that ever happened to you,” John added angrily.

Davesprite’s mouth pulled down in what might have been a grimace if he moved his mouth just a little more to the right. “It’s kind of personal,” he said.

“Personal!” John exclaimed. “You guys were my rock - “ he started to say, before Davesprite held a hand up to signal John to stop.

“Okay, okay. Calm down. If it’s such a big deal, I’ll explain,” Davesprite said with a soft sigh.

John interpreted Davesprite’s sigh as exasperation, which made him angry for some reason that he could not define.

“You understand that I’m both thirteen year old Dave and a dead crow fused together, right?” he asked slowly, as if he was speaking to a child.

John snorted and nodded, “Yes, Dave sprite, I understand that,” he replied, his tone dripping in sarcasm.

“Why did you say my name like that?” Davesprite asked, confused and thrown off for a moment.

“Like what?” John asked.

“Like, with a pause between Dave and sprite?”

“Okay, now I have no idea what you’re talking about,” John replied dryly.

Davesprite shook his head as if to clear it. “Nevermind,” he said.

“Anyway, I’m the combination of Dave when he started the game and a dead crow. I’m both of these things with the arbitrary oracle archetypal rules applied to everything I do,” he explained.

John nodded slowly. “Okay …” he said. John was not sure he understood the whole ‘archetypal oracle’ thing. He assumed Davesprite was referencing how the game didn’t want him to give information freely and in a forthright manner.

“That means that I retained all of the feelings, memories, and convictions of both Dave and the crow. The crow a little less so, because it had less of all those things. And, it was dead. That, too. You follow me?” he asked, pausing.

“Yeah,” John replied. “I just don’t see how this has anything to do with you breaking up with Jade,” John said stubbornly.

“Dave, the original Dave, had a lot of hang ups. He had a lot of weird convictions and even romantic feelings for people that he had never really met.”

That made John sit up straight.

“Romantic feelings?” John asked curiously. “Do you mean that Dave liked Jade?” John asked. John had always assumed Dave had, mostly due to that ‘gloves on’ approach he always used with her.

“Actually, no,” Davesprite replied. He sounded tired again, almost wary of continuing at all. “He liked someone else and those feelings were passed on to me when he used himself to prototype.”

“Oh?” John asked, started to feel cross. John could not imagine why Davesprite was being so obtuse.

“I don’t like to think that I’m influenced by Alpha Dave’s thoughts and feelings. But, over the course of this trip I’ve been forced to admit that, though these feelings may have originated from Alpha Dave, they are just as much my own,” Davesprite sighed.

“Is that it?” John asked, irritation leaking into his voice. “Because, that makes almost no sense,” John added.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Davesprite responded, sounding cross himself. “What more were you expecting?”

“How about - “ John could not help, but to flail his arms around a little “Who you like!”

“Okay. That’s a little personal,” Davesprite responded flatly.

“No, it’s not! I mean, okay, it is. But, we’re bros, right! You can tell me,” John exclaimed.

John tried not to think about how angry he was a moment ago. John still thought it sucked that Davesprite broke up with Jade, but if John was understanding him right Davesprite had realized that he liked someone else. Or, that Davesprite had always liked this other person but hadn’t taken it seriously until recently? John had seen enough movies to know that when you were in love with someone you had to go after them. No matter whose heart you break or whose toes you stepped on.

“Seriously? There’s no way I’m telling you that,” Davesprite said flatly.

John groaned loudly and flung yourself backward into Davesprite’s cushy crow nest blankets. “Come on, Dave sprite! Just tell me ~” John whine.

John noticed that Davesprite pulled another face from above him.

“Why do you keep saying my name like that?” Davesprite asked, somewhat more vehemently this time.

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about,” John moaned. John could not understand why Davesprite and Jade kept asking him about that. He was convinced that he did not say Davesprite’s name funny. That was how John was convinced you should say it.

“You’re putting a space between Dave and sprite,” Davesprite responded again.

John sighed and put on his best stupid face, “I’m Dave sprite and I’m all like an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a hot dog bun ~ “ John sung mockingly. John flailed his hands and stuck out his tongue, before collapsing back into the soft fabric at his back.

When John did not answer him directly, Davesprite’s face resolved into what John could comfortably call anger. Yeah, that was definitely anger.

“Is it because I’m not a real Dave?” Davesprite asked with venom. Or, as much venom as John had ever heard him put into anything.

John sat up quickly. “No!” he said, knowing how much of a sore spot that was for Davesprite. “No, of course not! I’m not putting a space between Dave and sprite. I don’t know why you keep saying that.”

John resolved to himself to stop putting a space in Davesprite’s name if it was going to turn into such a big thing.

Davesprite seemed to relax a little after that, but did not pick up where he had left off. He sat very still facing John. John was willing to bet anything that Davesprite was playing Bejeweled on his iShades or something.

“But, you should still totally tell me who you like,” John said, opening his eyes as wide as possible and blinking up at Davesprite. “Because, we are totally bros. And, bros tell each other important shit like that,” John said, turning the cute up to the max. John had not done this since he was really young, but he was willing to try almost anything at this point.

Davesprite looked at John sideways for a moment. “No way,” he decided after a long pause.

“Oh, come on!” John groaned loudly. “Okay, well, I’m at least going to guess,” John said.

“No,” Davesprite replied.

“Yes!” John said emphatically. “Is it someone I know?” he asked.

Davesprite regarded John soberly and did not offer up any kind of reaction.

“Come on!” John bemoaned him, rocking back and forth.

Davesprite sighed and seemed to make his decision. “Yeah, I guess,” he said.

“Cool!” John immediately replied. “Then, it has to be someone in the game...” John said slyly, looking at Davesprite for any reaction.

There was none. Not that John really expected a cool character like Davesprite to give him one.

“Okay! It’s someone in the game that both Dave and I know. Is it a troll?”

“John, I’m not playing this game,” Davesprite replied, suddenly seeming to become nervous.

“Nuh-uh! No way. You already started, you can’t back out now! I’m getting close, aren’t I? It’s a troll, I can feel it. Is it, uh, what was her name? It starts with a T, I think.”

“Ugh! John, it’s not a troll,” Davesprite groaned.

“Oh, okay. Well, then, it’s someone in the game who’s not a troll. So, oh! Ew! Davesprite, it’s not Rose, is it?” you ask, wrinkling your nose at the very thought.

“No, it’s not Rose!” he barked. Cawed, John guessed, would be a more apt word for it.

“Well, if it’s not any of the trolls, and it’s not Jade, and it’s not Rose, and I know it’s not me,” John laughed, looking at Davesprite for some kind of reaction.

Davesprite stayed as still and unreadable as he was before. But, somehow that was more telling than if he would have just snorted the last option away.

“I mean, you don’t like me, right?” John laughed a little bit harder, pushing lightly at Davesprite’s fluffy feathery chest with his elbow.

Davesprite did not share in the laughter and John could not find it in him to keep it going all by himself. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment before the other shoe dropped.

“... Me?!” John burst out.

“Oh, god, John! It’s not like Dave was the straightest guy who ever touched boot to earth!” Davesprite burst back.

“I’m not saying that! I’m just- I mean! Me?” John said a little weaker.

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you,” Davesprite replied sullenly.

John admitted to himself that he was more than a little floored by this admission. He had always laughed at Rose’s jokes about Dave’s sexuality, but never considered that maybe they were more well founded than he was willing to believe.

It was hard for John to follow that train of thought for very long with Davesprite staring at him through his iShades in what he considered must be abject despair. You know, if he ever expressed any emotion beyond a sneer and a cackle.

After all, Davesprite had pretty much just confessed that he had a crush on John since before he existed and John was just sitting there. Staring at him.

“So, you broke up with Jade for me?” John asked weakly, pointing at himself.

Davesprite snorted and John relaxed a little.

“I didn’t break up with her in the hopes that I could snag you as my boyfriend, no,” Davesprite scoffed, pulling nervously at some of the long orange feathers on his chest. “It was more like...”

Davesprite trailed off, his mouth pulling down in a grimace as he considered his next words. “It was like, the more I thought about it, the more unfair it seemed to Jade. I do like her. A lot. But, I had to admit to myself that maybe I just went out with Jade to prove to myself that I’m not just a carbon copy of Alpha Dave. But, it wasn’t fair to her. Especially after realizing that I still liked you after going out with her for so long,” Davesprite explained stoically.

“Oh,” John replied lamely. “That’s fair, I guess.”

The two boys stared at each other for another long moment considering each other. Neither of them dared to make a move for a long time.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” John eventually asked with trepidation.

Davesprite snorted again. John was starting to like that sound less and less. “I never exactly got the impression that you liked me back.”

“I like you!” John burst out much to his own chagrin.

Davesprite raised both of his pale eyebrows above his iShades with a look of incredulity. John forced himself to swallow past the dry lump in his throat. John could feel heat climbing up his neck and over his face, pooling in his cheeks.

“Oh, yeah?” Davesprite asked cautiously, looking honestly surprised. He seemed to unfold himself out of a defensive posture John had not noticed he was in. Davesprite’s wings slowly tilted up and open, slowly coming in closer to John as if drawn to him.

“Y-yeah,” John replied slowly, already regretting what he had said. “I mean, you can be a huge jerk. And, I know you, like, get off on making me blow a gasket most of the time,” Davesprite chuckled at that and John had to struggle to swallow again, “But, I don’t dislike you. You’re just infuriating, most of the time,” John finished lamely.

Davesprite was still smirking when John finished. John could still feel the heat warming his cheeks.

“Egbert?” Davesprite asked with a quirk of his lips.

“Yeah?” John asked, already worried.

“Do you want to go out or something?” Davesprite asked, his smirk breaking into a genuine smile. John could actually see his teeth; small, white, and almost perfectly aligned. John had never seen Davesprite smile wide enough to show teeth before.

“What? No! What?” John exploded, the heat in his face reaching levels usually attributed to the violent distribution of napalm. “Who would want to date you? You’re a bird! You have a ghost butt! Nuh uh. No way.”

Davesprite snorted. John decided that he definitely hated that sound.

“Whatever. You’re totally head over heels for me, Egbert. Just admit it.”

“I’m not!” John barked.

“Whatever,” Davesprite replied with a smirk.

“I hate that word. And, I take it back! I hate you, too! You suck,” John sniped as he stood and exploded into a torrent of winds.

John pulled himself together a little bit away from Davesprite’s nest.

“And, Jade’s lucky that you broke up with her! You’re a shitty gay boyfriend!” John shouted at Davesprite.

John dispersed himself and guided his body in the form of a gust of wind back down to the deck of the ship. Davesprite’s cackling laugh followed him the whole way there.


End file.
